My daughter is dating her cousin


Proverbs 18:24

And you can be thankful that you didn't start it all. How do you think she would feel if she found out right before the wedding, or several years later? This should have been something she was told several years ago.

Maybe she knows and doesn't care. I find it hard to believe she doesn't know he's her cousin You have to tell her as any children they have could have birth defects Also, where is a year old going to get the money to travel the world? Tell her and the boy. Tell them they can date but cannot have a baby or get married until they are You should have told her before.

Now you are in big trouble, just tell her but ask her not to say anything, but if she does it's not a big deal. You will break her heart, but you have to tell her. Why doesn't she know that he's her cousin? And she'll probably find out eventually.. I think you should tell her now! Break it to her in the nicest way possible, and see what she does.


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Tell her if she decides to go through with it they can always move to a southern state where its tolerated or they can move to japan where while its doesn't really occur it is socially acceptable to marry your cousin. On the other hand ignorance is bliss. No shit it isn't working. They're both 18, entitled to take responsibility for their own actions. Like everyone else's said, make sure they use contraception.

Cousins Chart: Second Cousins & Once Removed Explained | Better Homes & Gardens

No, they're both 18 and entitled to be responsible for their own choices and decisions. I understand you're probably a little uncomfortable about this, but just support your son no matter what. Give your opinion and your thoughts, talk with him as adult to adult, but respect his choices unless they're actively harmful. Now you're being pretty selfish and an ass to boot.

If anything you'll push your son away from you even more and give him a valid reason to mistrust, even be angry towards you. They need free access to birth control. Ideally she would get a hormonal IUD or shot so everyone knows she's protected. If that doesn't work or even if it does he needs to be using condoms. You can't forbid them from getting married,it will only make things worse, but you can show them the dangers and risks of having children and encourage them to make plans for adoption or surrogacy.

Go ahead, marry your cousin—it's not that bad for your future kids

Try to stay positive. Adoption helps people while having your own kids is largely a selfish move. Also tell them it's best to wait until at least 25 to be married just in case they dont want to be together forever. Basically, treat them like any couple because you don't get to choose who they love. No one's going to want to hear this, but first cousin marriages don't result in birth defects as often as society thinks it does. To a clip a short section of the second article: For your reference, this increase in birth defect rate is about the same as the increased risk of a woman having a baby when she is 40 vs.

Proponents here point out that few would advocate banning a 40 year old woman from having children. Also, despite trying to do some research, I couldn't find out if incestual couple adoption is legal in the US if that's where OP is from. Most people seem, myself included, seem to think it is not. I highly doubt agencies or pregnant mothers will approve of allowing couples practicing incest to adopt. It'd be seen as a big risk, even if it is consensual.


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I've read these types of studies before and I understand the low risk, but was thinking people going through his might not like to risk that sort of thing at all. And as far as adoption goes, I can imagine there will be difficulties but they can find one. I highly doubt they will care enough to find out whether they have the same great grandparents. Nobody needs to have a baby with their cousin then realize they don't want to be with them anymore. But there is always a risk. Should people with a family history of diabetes or breast cancer also not have children? I understand the low risk, but was thinking people going through his might not like to risk that sort of thing at all.

My brother-in-law has problems breathing properly after having his umbilical cord wrapped around his neck in-utero. My ex-boyfriend was born with symbrachydactyly, despite a healthy pregnancy. There is nothing any set of parents can do to completely avoid the risk of a child not being born 'normal'. Don't a lot of states still do blood tests before issuing marriage licenses to make sure you're not siblings or first cousins? I'm in Texas, usually when there's something outdated like that it happens here. The last people who had to get blood tested in my family are 90 now.

My other grandparents are 80 and didn't need to get tested. Maybe one or two states do this but the majority don't. If he is 18 years old I don't think the police can get involved. How old is the niece? Unfortunately, he is a legal adult and able to make his own decisions. If they are adamant on being with each other, you and your sister could both lose your children if you can't accept it.

But I think it is good of you to discourage it because of the risk of genetic problems to offspring, but if they are so adamant you might have to accept it It's not sexual abuse if he is above the age of consent, consenting, and first cousins are not considered incest by the laws of your state.

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This is the point where you ask him what future he sees with his cousin. Marriage at 18 is rarely a good idea for anyone. Does he really love her and see her as a best friend as well as a lover, or is this a sex thing? Forbidding the marriage and cutting off financial support will just make him hate you if he is committed to her. Keep that in mind. Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement and Privacy Policy. Log in or sign up in seconds. Get an ad-free experience with special benefits, and directly support Reddit. Parenting subscribe unsubscribe , readers 1, users here now Make this subreddit a better place!

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Dating Cousins

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And, of course, even in states where it is legal, the practice is taboo. Dark blue marks states, like California, where first-cousin marriage is legal. Light blue, like Maine, represents states where cousin marriage is legal with some requirements or exceptions. Light red, like Illinois, is banned with exceptions. Dark red, like Washington state, is a total ban on first-cousin marriage.

And blood red, like Texas, means marrying your cousin is a criminal offense. First cousins share Siblings, as well as parents and kids, share about 50 percent.

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Any child that results from a first cousin union is, therefore, going to have a pretty substantial portion of similar-looking genes. And that can pose a problem. In biology, genetic diversity is all the rage. If mom and dad are genetically similar, however, both versions of a gene are likely to shut down at the same time. The real issue would arise if the next generation of kids also married their first cousins. Their offspring will have even more DNA in common—and an even greater chance for birth defects. There are plenty of historical examples of this.

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