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Wanted: life partner

You wouldn't expect a job, career or house to simply turn up. I spent an inspiring year dating like-minded men through Guardian Soulmates after my break-up, giving me confidence, excitement and a new partner. OK, he wasn't one of my dates, but he may only have noticed me because I was looking elsewhere. Internet dating agencies are a good idea, but ensure your expectations are low from the beginning. See it as a new way of meeting interesting people and if you meet someone special it's a bonus. Most people expect to instantly meet the partner of their dreams, but it's just as unpredictable as real life.

Match and DirectDating are probably the best in terms of good people. Udate probably works better if you read the Sun rather than the Guardian. And yes, internet dating worked for me!

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We are in our 60s now and met through Soulmates in the Guide five years ago. On Saturday mornings we sit and read the Guardian in the garden of the home we have bought together.

Susanna C Greenwood, Norfolk. I joined Natural Friends. You don't have to be an earth mother and their membership was very reasonable. You can also browse members' details before joining.

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After meeting several likeable guys, I met my life partner. Obviously there is no guaranteed outcome, so it's important to go with the agency you trust. As for being desperate, the stigma is much less than it was.

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Get out and about Firstly, make sure you are happy with your life as it is. Dating will not "cure" any problems or personal issues. Secondly, get out as much as you can. Join anything that may interest you, contact every friend in your address book and say "yes" to every reasonable invitation. Thirdly, research your ideal way to go looking - agencies, internet, speed dating etc.

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Be prepared to develop some understanding of what you are looking for in a date, which will help avoid unnecessary spending. Holiday with other singles Go on a singles holiday. At least then, even if there is no one you fancy you are sure to find someone you can get on with and have a laugh, and you're having a holiday into the bargain.

I went on three or four singles holidays - on the first one I met a man I went out with for two years and had a great holiday sailing in the Aegean as well.

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Whale of a time When I was single in the early nineties I had a whale of a time meeting scores of men through dating agencies. However, it was very expensive, some were better than others and not necessarily proportional to their cost. I met my partner more than 10 years ago when I answered his ad in the Guardian Soulmates feature. There's nothing wrong with being desperate, but try to enjoy the single state simultaneously! Don't hunt desperately When I was single I tried speed dating and Soulmates instead of expensive dating agencies.

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The speed dating event was great fun 8 out of 12 men ticked me! My experiences made me feel that dating should be more about having a nice time and choosing someone I wanted to spend time with than desperately hunting for anyone who would have me.

I stopped panicking about finding a man and met someone at work shortly afterwards. Looking to track thwarted terrorist attacks against women? Until now, a huge accusation.

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